Image by: PDPics
By James Reubin
“Why do I have to keep on doing things that are not good for me? Why do I have to make others happy at my own expense?” These were the questions that I asked myself when my mother obligated me to help my 30-year old sister raise her child.
My dilemma started when my father died 5 years ago. I was still single back then and was living with my mother in the house that my father and I built. Two years later, my sister got divorced and moved back into our house. In the same year, I got married and of course, my wife came to live with me.
Just imagine this situation guys, living with 3 women in the same house. My mother hated my wife for being my wife. My sister hated my mother for always interfering with her life; and my wife hated my mother and my sister for being so dependent with me.
However, my marriage mattered the most to me. I also believed that I had already done so much for my family, that it was time for them to start relying on themselves and realize that I have a life of my own now and that I have to set some boundaries to keep my marriage healthy.
I ended up having to send my sister out of the house in the end. My mother couldn’t accept my decision and even now, she’s still mad at me because of that. But I knew in my heart that I made the right decision. I just hoped at the time that eventually they would understand that things would change for the better.
Sometimes, we have to live with ourselves more than anyone else when making hard decisions. Here are several things that you should stop putting yourself through to transform your life into something better.
Settling for Less than You Deserve
Life is too short not to do the things that you want to do and waste time with people who just suck the life out of you.
In your quest for love, for instance, you shouldn’t let your fear lead the way and make you accept anything less than the real thing. Don’t get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Don’t put up with someone who doesn’t respect you or who makes you feel like crap just because you think that you can’t stand being alone. Instead, trust the process of life, look for a kind of love that is kind, appreciating, honest, and forward-looking and refuse to settle for anything less.
Giving In to Your Weaknesses
You cannot achieve success if you don’t have the willpower and self-discipline to overcome your bad habits and the things that are holding you back from doing what you’re supposed to do. Success is a battle between you and yourself. And in order to get things done, you must learn to resist your desires to indulge in harmful and useless habits.
To help you succeed at work, writer Sienna Beard suggests that you avoid getting into these patterns of laziness and mediocrity.
When you learn to restrain your impulses and resist temptations, you will feel more in charge of yourself and you will grow into a healthier, happier and wealthier person.
Putting Your Health At Risk
Your health has significant effects on every aspect of your life from the way you think, the way your body functions, your financial well-being and your relationships. When your body gets weak, it becomes more difficult to focus and to do the things we want to do. Paying medical bills can lead to all sorts of financial problems. Also, getting sick affects the quality of time you spend with your loved ones.
So, do yourself a favor. Stop abusing your body and start making a commitment to taking on healthier habits today as every day you put it off could possibly take one year off your life.
Perhaps you can start by getting enough sleep at night. It comes with great benefits such as good memory, a stronger immune system and higher energy levels. To gain a better understanding of its specific effects on your brain, check this out – “Lack of Sleep Can Tremendously Affect How Our Brains Deal With Emotions.”
Stuffing Your Fears Inside Yourself
Great opportunities and amazing possibilities grow beyond your comfort zone. You cannot achieve anything great from playing it safe all the time, always staying in your comfort zone, and always taking the easy way out. Sometimes, you need to find the courage to take the hardest path in order to do something incredible.
In the piece “Do What Excites You: How to Push Through Fear & Make Bold Choices,” writer Miranda Hill shares the things she discovered on her journey to finding her rightful place in the world.
I agree with her when she says, “The only wrong decision is the one you don’t learn from.” Failing and making mistakes are more productive than not doing anything at all. And I think at the end of the day, it’s the things that you didn’t do that you’ll regret the most.
Guys, you can only change the things that you choose to confront. So, man up! Face your problems head on and learn to adapt to change instead of ignoring it or running away from it. Remember that you are not your failures and your mistakes don’t define you. You have the power to change your life and to do whatever that makes you happy.